Someone hurts you. You love them, but they can’t see it for what it truly is. You are devastated, mourning, in pain. The kind of pain that no one sees. It abides with you as you nurse your wounds and wallow in the betrayal. You attempt forgiveness. Forgiving them, you think… you hope… so that your ache will subside. You try forgiving yourself for your part in it, whatever that means on that day. But it’s futile. The pain returns to mock you and remind you of the sordid mess in your heart. It becomes a ritual cycle, and slowly over time becomes a muted tragic story, justifying itself.
So now really, do you understand love? Or does that word represent it’s enemies? Did you ever really learn forgiveness, or is it still just a hollow echo of self righteous preservation?
Separate yourself from it for a moment of objectivity.
Love is a choice. It may be shrouded in circumstance, opportunity or emotion; but ultimately it is a decision. An acceptance to open up and truly give of yourself. To accept the other as they are and to be willing to show your vulnerability with them. So what then, happens to this pure state? Did love become “un-love”? Or did it really exist between you?
Compassion… the truest form of love, cannot fade or be convoluted into some emotional affair. It is deeper than empathy: it is unconditional. A commitment to honestly and fully accept caring for another. To give anything of yourself, no matter the cost. No matter the outcome. No matter the betrayal. No matter the rejection.
So what then of your own broken heart?
Turn this compassion upon yourself. Hello. You must love yourself. Expecting to get it from someone else will not heal you. Your acceptance of yourself, unconditionally, will allow healing to begin. You must nurture yourself, as you would want someone to do for you. This is what is meant when you hear the phrase “God is love”. Compassion is the truest version of love, God’s version, and the only salve that will work.
Then eventually, forgiveness isn’t an issue: it happens naturally.