Forgiveness

….is something you give yourself.  It means not having to remember a painful memory that must be tolerated any more.  Not having to re-live a hurt someone or something caused you.  A way to relieve the burden.  So, the ego is all about self.  It’s all about preserving the shrine of self.  Should a cut or breach occur in this pristine and fragile shell, the immediate response is usually retribution, retaliation, revenge.  It seems this would mean forgiving is a personal slight to one’s ego.

Wow.     Can a loving person have such a reaction?

You know the answer.  Why do you think the phrase “Seventy times seven” still floats around the subject?  It takes practice.  If you are tired of avoiding a certain someone; if you don’t want a particular memory to continue to plague you, next time it comes to mind: Forgive.  Forgive the other person, forgive the situation, forgive yourself. Yes, yourself… even your ego, for holding on to the whole thing.  Keep going until you can say to yourself: it doesn’t matter anymore.  I’m done with it, and it will never be a burden to me again.  Then replace that space with love for all of it, and move on.

You know what I mean, and yes, you can do it.

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Courage or Rebellion?

What is it that burns us when we don’t hear what we want to hear? Why is it that we fuss and struggle to make it so, even when the obvious facts indicate that its a no-win? When the contrary is the truth, do we kick it? Is rebellion an innate personality trait in all humans? How does one not go there, in reaction to disappointing news?

These questions, and so many more…. are the knee-jerk, gut reaction queries that cross all of our minds. Even if you deny it, they do. You cannot discipline the mind hard enough to block the fleeting thought of ‘but no’! Maybe this is the survival instinct, or pride, or just willfulness. Whatever it is, it follows us around waiting to have it’s bratty tantrum. Even when we believe we have agreed to allow life’s sucker punches, or at least decided we will ignore them, it happens.

All this talk of aligning ourselves with the flow of the Universe makes for contemplating the direction life is going. I’ve been re-organizing my life for a while now. Becoming more and more aware of how each of my decisions turns the journey up another road. Besides that, causing me to analyze my intentions, or my desires impacting them, and if that is any set up for disappointment.

Simply: Do I know what I want? Do I really know what is best? Can I accept when I am wrong, or that I am stubbornly loyal to something that won’t serve me anyway? Where does the controlling factor step in and tell the child: go to your room and think about this, and when you are ready to behave properly, you may join the family?

I have said before: The hardest part of being grown up, is that you have to be the grown up for the hardest parts. Still true, but not impossible. Still telling that bratty child to settle down and deal with it, even if she doesn’t like it. Good thing there is unconditional self-love. Hmmm, guess that means there is forgiveness, and I will do the things that lift her up to face the world yet one more day. Keep making the choices, keep holding on to dreams. Don’t mope when it’s not the “right” answer. Agree that desires and intentions aren’t always the determining factors in what actually happens with the decisions made of them.

Reach inside… look for a larger perspective. Find courage.

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Honesty… Honestly

Billy Joel once capitulated upon it in his song by that name: “Honesty… is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you.’

Why is it so hard to be honest? What simple truth will do is so much more powerful. Can we get through a whole day with out a single white lie?  No answer is better than a false answer: How are you?  … fine?  There are ways to circumvent the self exposure that an honest answer would reveal.  Answering with a question can be useful.  Any will do – to take the onus off of you for a moment.  But this is only scratching the surface, the superficial.  Real honesty — deep truth can be frightening to bear, much less share.

Remember now, how celebrated those people in our history have become, when their honesty and guts were put to the test?  Better people –  better life.

Own up and take hold of your personal integrity.  Be the person you aspire to be.  If it is a half truth, you are only cheating yourself.  Be careful, be compassionate, and be discriminative for the sake of others.  But do not spare the truth, as it can also be your best protection.

Honor is its reward.  You see, it’s really the same thing.

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All You Need Is Love

I want to write a story of my love.

My love began when I was very young. My mother told me she loved me every day. The Sunday school teacher told me Jesus loved me; and my sisters and brother and I told one another, we loved each other. Not only that, but when I went into my “wilderness” down by the river past the park, I would feel the love of Mother Earth envelope me and caress me as I swayed up high in the willow tree branches.

There was no lack of love. Love is what I lived. Of course life wasn’t peaches and cream. There were stickers, thorns and brambles. But I never doubted that I was loved.

Fast forward to my epiphany of my early twenty’s. My husband was then courting me, and I had been dating enough to tire of the hollow promises of would be lovers that merely wanted a one night stand. So, I made the decision that the only person I would consider to be husband material would have to tell me he loved me first. And so he did. And my best friend became my husband. We were so young. We built a life together and forged it with love. Always mentioning it to our children, to each other, and to all other family members. We claimed it in the face of heart wrenching disease, and held tight to it until the end of his life.

This love was the kind of love that had to grow, to be tended and nurtured. To be truly intentional in its’ giving.  What love isn’t you ask?

Well, the intrinsic LOVE with in each of our own hearts. The Love that God puts there, the moment you become you. You and I ARE Love. This is true because we are children of God, and God is love. Not really very difficult, actually fairly simple. Being Love is the highest calling in life.

The building of the body, the protection and safeguarding of it’s health, the activities in life to give purpose is all so that the Love will have a vehicle to exist on this plane.  And the giving of this Love is the true purpose of being.

Can we say that the man or woman standing before us is not worthy of love? Is it because we have made them into some “other” that we don’t identify with? Didn’t their mother love them, their brother or sister, grandmother or aunt love them? Don’t they have a friend or spouse that love them? Then why not us, why don’t we love them? We can. We must step back from our judgments and rules and see each person as the child of God. God loves his children. ALL of us are His children.

We mustn’t wait for a catastrophe or calamity to occur in this world to become some kind of missionary and do charity. The other word for charity is Love. Just do what you do out of love, and the world will heal once more. There are more reasons to love than not to. Every situation we encounter in our lives is to give us the chance to love. Can we do it? We are able…. it means to look outside ourselves and see with the eyes of God, just for that moment when it means the most. Tap into the love that already exists in your being.

Let it flow.

 

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